Of Popcorn and PineSol
by ARCtheElite
Summary: Challenge fic: Kari has friends over for a sleepover/movie-thon. By the end of the third movie, they're all slap-happy and Davis mistakes a small bottle of Pine-Sol sitting on the counter for a bottle of Jack Daniels...and you can only guess what ensues.
1. Please, Mom?

**Author's Notes: **Another challenge I'm doing here. Details below:

**Title:** Of Popcorn and Pine-Sol  
**Main Characters: **Ken, Takeru, Hikari, Miyako, Iori and Daisuke  
**Genre:** Humour/Friendship  
**Pairings:** Takari and Kenyako  
**Plot Brief: **Hikari asks her parents if she can have her friends over for a sleepover while they're out of town with Taichi for a college visit, and they say yes. So all of the 02 digidestined come over and they start a movie-thon. By the end of the third movie, they're all slaphappy and Daisuke mistakes a small bottle of Pine-Sol sitting on the counter for a bottle of Jack Daniels... and you can only guess what ensues.

I'm assuming that Tai would be the equivalent of a Canadian grade 12, (18 years old), so the 02 digidestined will be 14-16, depending on the individual. For this story, I'm using the English dub system of names/ages/etc.

The first chapter's a little short; I'm just getting warmed up :D

**Chapter 1: Please, mom?**

"Mom, can I have a few friends over for a sleepover this weekend?" asked Kari. The 15-year old digidestined bounced on the balls of her feet in the Kamiya living room, excited.

Neither parent however, shared her enthusiasm. Her dad spoke, "Kari, both of us – and Tai – are going to be gone for the weekend. Leaving you alone is one thing, but having a sleepover? What if something happens?"

Kari pouted. "But dad, it's not like I'll get into any trouble. And plus, it's only _the others_."

Both parents shared a look. They knew who _the others _were, and for the most part, they were a good bunch. Still, sometimes their behaviour left something to be desired… "We'd feel better if there was a chaperone around, Kari," her mom said, "how about next week?"

"But then Tai's going to be home."

Tai stuck a head out of his room, where he was currently packing. "Someone say my name?" Kari quickly shook her head, and stuck her tongue out at him. Tai responded with a similar gesture, then resumed his packing. Kari turned back to her doubtful parents.

"Please, mom?"

Her parents looked at each other again. True, the 'circumstances' from several years ago did force the children to grow up rather quickly. But they were still kids. After silently debating for a few minutes, they relented. "Fine – "

Kari squealed and ran off to call her friends.

" – But," her father continued. Kari turned back to her father. "You have to all promise to behave and not do something stupid like burn the house down." Kari nodded. "And you have to let us know immediately IF anything happens." Kari nodded again. "And no drinking, smoking, fighting, making loud noises that would cause neighbours to complain…" Kari bobbed her head up and down, listening to her father drone on about rules and responsibilities, and consequences of not keeping said rules.

"…And don't forget about the list of emergency contacts on the fridge." Kari nodded again. When she was certain her father had finished, she went off.

"Hey Yolei? It's Kari. I'm having a sleepover this weekend…you can make it? Great…yeah, mom and dad aren't going to be here…nope. No Tai either…I know I'm so excited too!"

"Ahem." Tai cleared his throat. "What's this about being excited about me not being there?"

"Nothing…" said Kari, trying to inch away after hanging up.

"Oh no ya don't," said Tai reaching over and pulling her into the bedroom. There, he began to clobber his sister with all the pillows he hadn't packed yet. Kari screamed and reached for one he had dropped, and the pillow fight began in earnest.

The Kamiya parents looked at each other. Her friends aren't even here and this was happening. Was this a bad idea?


	2. Of Boring Beginnings

**Author's Notes: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed: **PrincessJaded (Heil!), Aster Selene, GoggleMaster01 (which was more a call to arms than a review, but oh well), Potgenie, SugarSpiral, alienstarship, Light-of-Hope-07, emotionless-robot, **and last but not least **LoneWolfVampire13. **I think that's the most reviews I've ever gotten for a single chapter!

I think I forgot the disclaimer last chapter. I wonder if someone actually goes around looking to see if anyone doesn't put them up? In any case, I own nothing...except what I do own.

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**Chapter 2: Of Boring Beginnings**

Kari lay draped across the couch, lazily enjoyed the warm weather that was present and waiting for her friends to arrive. Gatomon in turn draped herself across Kari, pawing the air while dreaming about – whatever she was dreaming about. _Probably something about flying fish and butterflies, _Kari thought. Gatomon sniffed the air once, then sleep-leapt into the air – only to end in an ungraceful tumble off Kari and onto the hard floor. Kari giggled as the cat sat up, shaking her head.

"It's not my fault," Gatomon complained as Kari continued to laugh at her plight. "I can't control what I dream."

Kari's smile was interrupted when the doorbell rang. Gatomon took this opportunity to escape Kari's laughter while Kari herself went to get the door. Cody stood outside, looking as calm and collected as ever. He bowed once to Kari (who shook her head at his formality), then proceeded inside, carefully slipping off his shoes.

"Thank you for inviting me here, Kari," Cody began.

Kari laughed, "You don't have to be so formal. We're all friends here."

"Perhaps," replied Cody, "but – "

A large blur crashed into Cody, bowling him over. Davis Motomiya stood (way too close) in front of Kari, panting and gasping for air. "Am I late?" he asked.

"No Davis, you're early. For once," replied Kari, a bit miffed by his still-childish behaviour. "Now go and apologize to Cody for knocking him over."

"Who? Where?"

"Cody. Over there." Kari pointed to where the 14-year old stood, ignored by all except Veemon, who was vigorously shaking his hands.

"Oh. Uh…sorry 'bout that," said Davis.

"No problem," replied Cody.

"By the way," Kari cut in, "where's Upamon?"

"Now that you mention it, where is he? I'm sure he came with me…" Realization dawned on Cody's face, who ran past his two friends and into the kitchen. "UPAMON!!!"

Kari and Davis followed the younger boy. Upamon bounced from one counter to another, having finished three bags of popcorn and beginning on a fourth. Cody's face turned red, then purple, then a sort of bluish-pinkish-green. Upamon looked up. "What's wrong, Cody? I even saved you some! See?" The little digimon held up a handful of popcorn with his ears, oblivious (or perhaps apathetic) to Cody's mounting vexation – or Davis' outright anger from being cheated of his snacks.

"Come 'ere, ya little…" growled Davis as he reached for the nearest object – Cody's kendo stick. Then, in a dazzling display of crude martial arts, Davis began to chase the fleeing Upamon around the apartment.

"BUT I SAVED YOU SOME!"

"YOU CALL THAT SOME! THAT'S NOTHING, YOU PIPSQUEAK!"

"YOU CAN MAKE MORE!"

"THERE IS NO MORE! YOU ATE IT ALL!"

"KILLING ME WON'T HELP!"

"I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE GETTING A TASTE OF THE FAMOUS KICK-BUTT-STAFF TECHNIQUE OF THE MOTOMIYA SCHOOL!"

"I DON'T HAVE A BUTT! I'M A DIGIMON!"

"DOESN'T MATTER! I'LL KICK ANYTHING ELSE!"

"CODY! SAVE MEEEEE!"

Kari buried her face in her hands, praying that Davis didn't break anything in his unholy crusade. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see a golden-haired saviour. TK smiled down at her. "Don't worry about them, Kari. Yolei has it all taken care of."

Kari looked up just as Poromon burst through the Kamiya's window holding a piece of beef jerky in his mouth. Time slowed down as Davis and Upamon ceased their rampage. Poromon flew towards the door, Davis and Upamon hot on his heels (or whatever Poromon considers as heels).

"Perfecto!" called out Yolei as she walked in, Ken in tow. Poromon dropped the jerky between Davis and Upamon, who began a violent dispute over who would have it. "That'll keep them occupied for some time, I think."

"In the meantime, I think we should clean up the mess Upamon and Davis made," said TK. "Oh Kari, by the way, where are we going to sleep?"

"You can set your sleeping bags in the…uh…." Kari looked at the living room and groaned. "Mom and dad are going to disown me, gut me, then burn me alive!"

"No problem!" said Yolei. "Ken and I can handle this! Right, Ken?" Ken nodded feebly and proceeded (albeit somewhat grudgingly) to the devastated living room.

For the next hour, Kari, Cody, TK, Ken and Yolei swept up the broken glass (thankfully there wasn't too much of that), arranged the furniture back to its original positions, and cleaned the kitchen leftover from Upamon's stampede. Kari and TK pulled the coffee table and couch to one side while Ken and Yolei took the sleeping bags. Cody was still cleaning Upamon's mess.(_Something_ _about responsibility, _Kari had assumed). Somewhere during that hour, Davis had claimed the beef jerky for himself and Upamon pouted while Veemon and Poromon laughed at him.

Dinner passed with little incident (considering the prescence of six digimon), and the six digidestined snuggled into their sleeping bags. They decided to forego the "traditional" sleepover games of Truth or Dare or Pin the Tail on the Donkey (Wormon's idea) and head straight to a movie.

"Come on, Davis," argued TK, "Star Wars Episode IV. No other movie beats it."

"Nuh-uh, TS. Terminator III it is!"

"You boys are so insensitive!" yelled Yolei. "How about a nice quiet movie…War of the Worlds!"

"War of the Worlds is so stupid!" retorted TK. "The aliens get destroyed by something as dumb as germs!"

"Well, it's not all about blood and battle!" shouted Yolei.

"Terminator! That's final!"

"STAR WARS!"

For the second time that day, Kari ended with her face in her hands. _This is going to be a very long weekend, _Kari groaned. _How did we even manage to defeat Myotismon in the first place? _Cody sat cross-legged, arms folded across his chest and an angry tic on his forehead. Ken was unsuccessfully trying to play peacekeeper. And Kari just plain gave up.

"SHUT UP!"

Eleven pairs of eyes swivelled to look at Patamon, who gulped. "Why don't we just have everyone pick a movie and watch it?"

"Twelve movies?" asked Kari, "That's going to take a long time."

"We do have two days and nights," argued Poromon. "Even if each movie lasts three hours, we'd only need…um…"

"36 hours. As opposed to the approximately 48 we have here," supplied Ken. "We should look into having institutions of higher education established in the Digital World too, it seems."

"Speak normal, Ken," complained Veemon. "At this rate, only Izzy would be able to understand you."

"Why don't we just watch 'till we drop, then?" asked Davis. "We can have a movie-thon!"

Everyone agreed to Davis' plan, and the movie-thon began. "Since Kari's the host, she should pick first," said TK. "Any objections?" Nobody spoke up. TK turned to Kari.

"Um…how about…Finding Nemo?"

And so it begins.

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**Author's Notes:** The Kick-Butt-Staff of the Motomiya School is supposed to be a parody of Kung Fu Hustle (not owned by me!), which features a character using an "Eight Trigrams staff technique"

This really doesn't affect the story too much, but does anyone want a particular movie mentioned? And more importantly, do you think I am using too many parentheses?


	3. No Popcorn, but PineSol

**Author's Notes: **Thanks once again to my wonderful, intelligent, charming, and beautiful reviewers, in order of review: **Lord Pata, PrincessJaded (a.k.a Onee-sama. Or would you prefer Onee-chan?), Potgenie, Catching Rain, Lonewolfvampire13, emotionless-robot, Aster Selene, Light-of-Hope-07, **and **Aana the Mighty** **Deleter!**

This will be a VERY violent chapter. In ways more than two.

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**Chapter 3: No Popcorn, but Pine-Sol**

**---Sometime during Nemo---**

"Patamon!" admonished Kari. "What is that you're holding?"

"What, this?" asked Patamon. "It's a little something I found on the top shelf.

"There's a reason why it's on the top shelf."

"I know!" said Veemon. "So that we'd have to work to get some!"

"No," replied Kari. "It's because we're not supposed to have any."

"Don't be a stick-in-the-chocolate-syrup. We'll even share!"

"No."

"Eh, what's this?" asked Yolei. Kari groaned (again!)

Pretty soon, Patamon's discovery had been passed around the room, and everyone had a little – or a lot. It took some persuasion, but in the end, TK's coaxing managed to _persuade _Kari to see the light. (_Some responsible boyfriend you are, _Kari had said. TK just shrugged). And still it got passed around. And around. And around…

**--30 minutes later---**

"Alright! Next!" shouted the still-enthusiastic Davis.

"You just want to get onto the next movie, don't you?" asked Wormon.

"Nuh-uh!" Davis stuck his tongue out at Wormon.

"I saw you passed out on the floor halfway through the movie!" Gatomon accused. (A/N: Hey, Potgenie, you're not alone after all!)

"That's not true! Right, TK?" TK shrugged.

"If you didn't like the movie, just say so," he said.

"That's not true! I loved the movie…except the slower sections. Like, who wants to watch sharks reciting, 'fish are friends, not food?' Fish are food!"

"Anyway," Kari butt in. "What should we watch next?"

"Pirates!"

"Pirates?"

"Zoolander!"

"Pirates as in Pirates of the Caribbean! Third movie!"

"Hell no!"

"Talledega Nights!"

"What's that?"

"Pirates!"

"We said no!"

"But Will Ferrel is so cuuuuute!"

While the rest of digidestined and digimon (minus Kari; she already got her pick) argued like four-year-olds, Ken – being the smart one – covertly snuck over and slid a pirated Texas Chainsaw Massacre into the player. Sitting back, he let the movie do its work.

**---45 minutes later---**

"C-C-Cody," stuttered Upamon as he snuggled closer to his partner, "c-c-can you p-p-pass the p-p-p-popcorn?"

"You ate it all, remember?" said Cody. For some odd reason, he was the only one not affected by the gruesome movie, besides Ken himself. Kari and Yolei clung to their respective significant others (and to each other), the digimon were huddled either between themselves or with their partners; even Veemon and Davis were clinging to each other in fright (Veemon looking especially pale).

"H-h-here's s-something," muttered Patamon, passing 'Patamon's discovery' over.

"T-T-T-T-Thanks," said Upamon, digging in.

Cody scoffed, "You guys face down the Emperor, Spire-born digimon, Daemon, and MaloMyotismon but you can't sit and watch a measly horror movie? Tsk tsk…

"Ch-change it!" wailed Yolei. "I'm scarrrrreed!"

"But Yolei," protested Ken, "But we're just getting to the good part! Leatherface is coming, AND he's got this massive six-foot chainsaw!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" wailed everyone else. "TURN IT OFF!"

"Cody, can you do it?" Ken asked, "I'm kind of pinned down here."

"So am I," responded Cody, busy detaching Upamon from his shirt.

"But Upamon is lighter."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!?"

"Uh…no…but…"

"BUT!?"

"Well, Upamon IS a tiny little ball, while you're a mostly-grown human."

"TINY LITTLE BALL! THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GETTING IT!"

While Ken fended off his enraged girlfriend and a maddened in-training digimon (Wormon decided not to help, since his soda looked so much more enticing), Cody calmly went over and pressed the eject button. He reached for the next movie on the pile – the Ring (go figure, another horror movie) – when TK came up.

"At least that got Upamon off you," he remarked.

"It did, didn't it?" replied Cody. "At least Upamon and Yolei won't be able to pick the next movie."

"But I can," said TK and Gatomon at the same time. They looked at each other.

"I said it first," said TK firmly.

"Don't make me Lightning Paw your hat," retorted Gatomon.

"You wouldn't dare. Kari would…Kari?"

Kari sat back, happily munching on a large box of raisins (the only thing Upamon hadn't been through yet). "Hm? Oh! Go right on ahead!" she said.

"LIGHTNING PAW!"

TK scrunched his eyes closed and swung his hand. A deafening slap echoed throughout the room. Gatomon's face registered both shock and a large pink imprint on her cheek. Everyone stared, afraid of what would happen. Then Gatomon started chuckling. Then giggling. Then she fell on the floor, laughing and kicking her legs in the air.

"I say," said Hawkmon. "It would appear that our feline friend has lost the ability to process emotions properly."

"Wha-?" asked TK.

"It means she went crazy," said Patamon.

"Oh."

"Might I suggest Kung Fu Hustle while we are waiting for her to regain her senses?" asked Hawkmon.

"HELL YA!" shouted Yolei doing an impromptu karate chop – and hitting Ken's face in the process. "Oh, I'm soooo sorry! I'll get a tissue – or a box of tissues – um, wait here!"

"Oh dear," said Hawkmon.

**---90 minutes later---**

Gatomon giggled.

Kari started as well. Followed by Yolei. Then Ken, who looked rather gruesome with dried blood on his nose and cheeks.

Davis then joined the fun, followed closely by Patamon and Upamon.

Wormon was rolling on Cody's stomach; said boy was on the floor with a smile on his face. Several meters away, Veemon was walking around somewhat dazed.

TK was trying to coax Veemon into doing the axe-gang dance.

Hawkmon groaned at the sight. And without warning, burst into laughter as well.

**---7 minutes later---**

"Now what?" asked Patamon.

"I see loooooooooooooooooooooooopy!" shouted Yolei

"That makes no senssssssssssse!" said Veemon.

"How 'bout this?" asked Davis. "Looks like a nice bottle of Jack Daniels."

Through the rainbow-coloured fogginess clouding her vision and judgement, Kari vaguely realized that Jack Daniels doesn't exist in the Kamiya apartment (not because the Kamiyas didn't drink; Tai 'borrowed' it to a drunken party a couple months back. _It didn't go very well for him either, _Kari remembered, smiling at the memory). It belatedly registered in her mind that Tai was cleaning the living room this afternoon as part of his punishment and neglected to replace the bottle Pine-Sol. And for some reason, Kari had the distinct feeling that Davis was holding the very same bottle of Pine-Sol, and was happily tilting it back.

Kari blinked; trying to process her thoughts pass the sugarcoated haze. She had a bad feeling, but couldn't figure out why. _Maybe something to do with Davis trying to drink that bottle of Pine-Sol. Wait. What? Davis. Pine-Sol. Drinking. _"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kari leapt - knocking several pieces of furniture over, clipping Hawkmon's wing with a foot, sending Yolei's glasses flying – and landed on top of Davis, pushing the Pine-Sol away from him. For a moment, no one moved. The Pine-Sol formed a wet pool in the Kamiyas carpet. Then Gatomon took a step back, and the silence of the moment broke with the shattering of Yolei's glasses.

Davis giggled.

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**Author's Notes: **The chapter's a bit weak, I think. But it's up! Tell me what you think.

I was going to make slaphappy being literal, but then I might have had to up the rating to at least T, if not M. I don't think my pure and unblemished mind (not really) can process such dirty thoughts either. =D

Any thoughts on the contents of 'Patamon's Discovery'?


	4. Of Mortifying Moments

**Author's Notes: **Once again, e-cookies and e-cakes to the wonderful and_ epic_ (as Potgenie and Sugarspiral might put it) reviewers: **PrincessJaded, Lord Pata, Aster Selene, LoneWolfVampire13, emotionless-robot, Potgenie, BenignUser, SugarSpiral, and Catching Rain (double cookies for you, since you made the idea!)**

And special thanks goes to the _Fantastical _Potgenie, who rescued me from my ignorance of sexy males by providing me with a suitable candidate for Kari to dream about; and to the equally magnificent PrincessJaded, who beta-ed this chapter as I was too tired to think straight.

It's a shame that I have to up the rating just because of one measly word (especially since I'm _sure _little kids say it all the time), but as of now, this fic will be rated T. Can you guess which word?

I still don't own Digimon in any way, shape or form. Except for that OC I created 4 fics ago, but I doubt you'd want to hear me talk about that…So without further ado, on with the show!

Oh, one last thing. Can you identify the Russell Peters quote?

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**Chapter 4: Of Mortifying Moments**

_Davis. Pine-Sol. Drinking. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

_Kari leapt and landed on top of Davis…_

_The silence was broken by Yolei's glasses shattering…_

_Davis giggled…_

_

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_

To Kari, it was like waking up from a bad dream…only to find herself in an even more hellish nightmare. For one, Davis had tried to – or maybe already did – drink the bottle of Pine-Sol. Two, said bottle was now making a cheery puddle in the middle of the living room – which just had to be carpet instead of wood flooring. Third, Gatomon had just stepped on Yolei's glasses, and there would be hell to pay for that (_in addition to the carpet,_ groaned Kari). And fourth, almost everyone was (to some degree) intoxicated by her dad's **ÜBER-strong** brandy chocolates. Which, as Kari reflected, were priceless – and all finished. And if that weren't enough she happened to be lying on top of Davis (_why him?_ Kari asked silently. _Why not someone hot and sexy… like… Johnny Depp??_), who was giggling like some insane kid.

Browsing through her considerable vocabulary (after all, she _normally _was a good girl who studied hard), Kari could only think of one word to describe the situation: _fucked. _Her mind swam with all the paths her near future could take: her parents were going to come home and…not be happy. Possibly quite pissed. In fact, possibly, somebody-gonna-get-a-hurt-real-bad sort of pissed. Yolei's parents wouldn't be too pleased either, nor would Davis'. She might get charged for killing Davis. Her parents are going to disown her, and after she gets out of jail, she'll be a poor old woman with no financial support. Her parents would disown her, as would Tai. _Crap I'm screwed, _Kari thought.

Dimly, she heard the phone ring. It sounded slightly louder than Davis' guffaws sounding in her ears. It didn't quite register in her overloaded mind to go over and pick up the phone. Instead, she just stayed prostrate on top of Davis.

After five or six rings, Wormon, being the least inebriated, finally vaulted over Spiderman-style and picked up the phone. "Hello," he said. "You have reached the Kamiya residence. No one is available to take your call, but if you could leave your phone number and a detailed message, we'll get back to you."

"_What the hell – heck?"_ said an obnoxious voice from the other side. _"That's not our answering machine tone. I should know; I made it myself."_ Wormon froze, then turned to his intoxicated compatriots, mouthing, "it's Tai."Silence reigned for a golden two and a half seconds, then the room burst into frenzied activity.

"TAIIIIIII!"

"WE'RE DOOOOOOOMEED!"

"SAVE MEEEE!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"TEEHEEHEE!"

"_Um… is everything all right over there?"_ asked Tai. _"You guys sound as if you're dying… except for Davis, who sounds like a sadistic clown. Kari? Hello? Wei?"_

"Um… everything is under control," tried Wormon.

"_Oh, okay," _Taisaid. _"I'm just calling to let you know that I forgot something really important, so we're just coming back to get it. We'll be back in about an hour. We won't disturb you for long, I promise. See ya!" _With that, Tai hung up, leaving Wormon staring at the receiver.

"Um…" began Wormon. "Tai says that he's going to be coming back for a little while…"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"RUN FOR IT!!!"

"GOGOGOGOGO!!"

"Aw nuts," Wormon swore.

The green bug leapt off the table and waddled into Tai's empty room, thankfully finding the computer still on. Using his threads, Wormon manipulated the mouse into opening the Internet for him, where _hopefully _he could find a quick-cure for drunkenness. _Let's see… peanut butter mixed with sleeping pills… Nah, I doubt they have sleeping pills here… Shredded paper mulch with garlic and ginger root… ugh, nasty… hm? _"What's this?" asked Wormon. "Mix three tablespoonfuls of olive oil with half a teaspoon of sesame oil. Then stir in a tablespoon of dark soy sauce… and add two drops of Pine-Sol?" Wormon pondered for a second. _Three of the ingredients were common kitchen ingredients, and the Pine-Sol… maybe I can salvage some of it…_

With that, Wormon went to work. The fact that he had stubby legs and no fingers made it hard for him, but he knew how…screwed…his friends would be if he didn't finish before Tai and his parents got back. He pried open the kitchen shelves, and with moderate difficulty managed to locate where all the ingredients were. He then picked up the Pine-Sol, thankful that there were still a few drops left in it. Then came the hard part: opening all the bottles, something that required much concentration for Wormon – concentration that Wormon didn't have, seeing as how twelve hyperactive teenagers and Digimon were running around screaming their heads off.

"Sticky Net!" cried Wormon, pinning each of his friends down and gagging them with twelve precise shots. "Now then, to get some work done."

Wormon pried each of the bottle caps open and carefully measured out the ingredients into a bottle. Then he shook it just to make sure everything was thoroughly mixed. When he was satisfied with the concoction, he hopped over and administered the "medicine" one at a time. And he sat back to watch.

Hawkmon woke from his drunken stupor first, followed closely by Kari, who immediately started crying. Ken and Cody got up next, rubbing their heads. Patamon tried to budge from under TK's shoulder, but was rather unsuccessful until TK himself woke up, along with Yolei. Upamon, then Gatomon and Veemon got up, supporting each other.

That left Davis, who had ceased to giggle and was now snoring peacefully. Kari gasped. "Davis!" she shouted, and bounded over to him (though she was careful not to repeat the mistakes of her last leap), and shook his shoulders. "Davis! Wake up! Don't be dead, please!" The other digidestined and digimon crowded around the unconscious goggle-head, hoping he would wake up.

Davis' eyes popped open. "What happened?" Kari crushed him under a hug. At first, Davis was too shocked to respond, but then he grinned and shot a victory sign at TK from behind Kari's back. TK merely brandished a wicked-looking cleaver and said nothing.

Suddenly, the key hit home, and the doorknob turned to reveal Tai, flanked by Yuuko and Susumu Kamiya. The trio of newcomers took in the bottles on the kitchen floor, the ugly-looking stain on the carpet, and the surprised/embarrassed group of teenagers and Digimon gathered, with their daughter's (sister in Tai's case) arms wrapped around someone. Behind the Kamiyas, a large crowd of angry neighbours had gathered, sending death-glares at the small party. Susumu cleared his throat.

"Hikari Kamiya," he began. "I'm sure you're going to have an absolutely _fascinating_ explanation for all this."

"And I'm sure that _somebody gonna get a hurt real bad,_" added Tai, an evil grin on his face.

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**Author's Notes:** Will Kari "get a hurt real bad?" Is Davis going to die from Pine-Sol intoxication? What will happen to the Kamiya's carpet? **Review **and tell me how you want this to end! (Granted, I won't do everything, since I do have something planned out, but we'll see...)


	5. Of Cataclysmic Conclusions

**Author's Notes:** This is it, ladies and gentlemen! The moment you've all been waiting for… the grand finale to the exciting adventure!

… Ok, so maybe it wasn't that exciting and maybe it wasn't an adventure. But still, a special thanks to all the people who took the time to write a review:** PrincessJaded, Aster Selene, Potgenie, Light-of-Hope-07, Lord Pata, Catching Rain, LoneWolfVampire13, emotionless-robot (who is NOT emotionless, by the way), BenignUser (who is about as benign as emotionless-robot is emotionless, jks), SugarSpiral, and Not Kouichi-tcanimorph. **My e-cookie stocks are a little low right now, so how about some e-beer?

And to the _fantastical _genie of the pot **Potgenie**, who was so kind to beta this chapter.

This chapter will feature two possible endings: More Cataclysmic (also less unbelievable), and Less Cataclysmic (and more believable). To see the More Cataclysmic version, scroll down to the middle-ish. Enjoy! **WARNING: Version 2 contains gore. Lots of it. Not for the faint of heart. Consider yourself warned.

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**Epilogue: Of Cataclysmic Conclusions**

**Version 1: Less Cataclysmic**

Kari pinched herself. She wasn't dreaming. Her parents, Tai, and all her neighbours stood outside the door, vengeance etched on their faces. Susumu Kamiya stepped forward.

"Kari," he began – "explain yourself."

Kari squirmed under her father's scrutiny. Her goose was cooked, and she knew it. No matter how good her excuse was, or how genuinely sorry she felt, there was no way she would be getting out of this easily.

"I'm waiting," her father said.

"Before Kari could open her mouth, Veemon stepped in, "I can explain! We were having a costume party! TK was supposed to be a butcher and I'm… I'm…" The dinosaur grabbed a few empty cans of coke. "Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"Thank you, Veemon," Susumu said when the digimon was finished. "But I think I'd like to hear Kari's version."

Kari desperately tried to think of a lie as her father – indeed, everyone – turned their attention back to her.

"TK was getting a drink," she began, ignoring the glare TK sent in her direction, "and then he tripped, spilling the drink. Davis was going to get a rag to clean it up but he slips and hits his head on the coffee table. We screamed since we thought he might have died."

"You're lying, Kari," her father said bluntly. Kari lowered her eyes. Her last attempt to get off the hook had failed.

"I'm really sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."

"Go to bed," said her mother – "all of you. Kari, we'll discuss your punishment when we get back."

Wordlessly, the digidestined moved to open their sleeping bags, heads hung in shame and refusing to meet each other's eyes. Apparently satisfied, the neighbours dispersed, though some could still be heard cursing the teenagers and saying something that sounded like "when I was their age, we would never…"

Tai quickly went and grabbed his stuff. When all the digidestined were settled in and the Kamiyas were satisfied, they turned and left for the road once more.

* * *

An hour later, Kari still couldn't sleep. She was scared, hoping that Sunday evening would never arrive. She didn't want to know what her parents had in store for her.

"Kari?" Came a voice.

"Patamon?" She asked. "Can't sleep either?"

"No," he said. "I'm really sorry about getting you guys in trouble. If I hadn't taken the Hyper-candy and listened to you, you wouldn't have gotten in trouble."

Kari smiled, though Patamon couldn't see it in the darkness. "It was bound to happen eventually," she said. "Come one, Davis, Veemon and Upamon under one roof? Together they can freeze Hell over."

Patamon nodded, though he was still unconvinced. Kari reached out and stroked the rookie. "Don't worry about it, Patamon," she said. "Everything will be better in the morning." With that, Patamon went to sleep and Kari was left alone with her own thoughts once again.

* * *

"Hello," Yolei said from behind the counter, "How may I help… oh, hi Kari!"

Kari smiled. It was Monday after school, and Kari had stopped by the Inoue's convenience store to see if Yolei could help her. "Yolei, do you think your family can hire me for a while?"

"Sure! With everyone else gone, it's only me, mom and dad manning the store. We could always do with an extra hand with inventory, purchases, some extra cashiers to work night shifts, advertisement… oh! I'm going off again, aren't I? Wait a second; I'll go call my dad. DAD!" she hollered.

Mr. Inoue came down a moment later. He looked at Kari, and for a moment Kari was certain he would kick her out of the store – literally – for causing all the ruckus two nights ago. But then he looked away, and Kari let out a breath she'd been holding.

"So, dad," Yolei began. "Kari's looking for a job, and she's wondering if we have anything for her to do."

Her father smiled. "Of course. When would you like to start?"

"As soon as possible," Kari replied.

"Well," Mr. Inoue thought for a moment. "Yolei can give you a training session today – paid, of course – and you can start working tomorrow after school from 8 to midnight, if you don't mind night shifts. You'll be paid 1.5 times the regular wage."

"Hey!" protested Yolei. Her father ignored her.

"Sounds great!" Kari replied. "Thank you, Mr. Inoue."

"Good. I'll leave you two, then."

"So, how's life?" Yolei asked. "Did your parents do anything too bad to you?"

Kari shook her head. "My parents say I have to pay for EVERYTHING I broke, including the lamp Davis knocked over trying to catch Upamon. And of course I have to pay for carpet cleaning, which is kind of ironic, since we spilled Pine-Sol and not soda. And then I'm grounded for three weeks for bothering the neighbours, which I have to go apologize to – every freaking single one of them! – yeah, but other than that it's not too bad. You?"

"Standard lecture," replied Yolei. "I'm pretty sure my parents have a script hidden somewhere. They didn't make me pay for those glasses, though."

"I heard Davis got it bad, though," said Kari.

"What? Did his parents hang him or something?"

"Not his parents, but Jun started hitting him and saying what an idiot he was for almost getting himself killed. I think Davis finally had to get Ex-Veemon to pry Jun off him. Not even both his parents could make her budge."

"Hehe. Sibling love, I guess."

"Yeah, at least Tai didn't do that to me."

"Anyway, let's get started," said Yolei. "Our stocks come in from the back and we basically have to move them to the inventory room. Don't worry, they only weigh about 30 lbs. each, and restocking is once a week…"

Kari groaned.

* * *

**Version 2: More Cataclysmic**

**Skip to the end if you are squeamish. **

Kari pinched herself. She wasn't dreaming. Her parents, Tai, and all her neighbours stood outside the door, vengeance etched on their faces. Susumu Kamiya stepped forward.

"Kari," he began. "Explain yourself."

Kari squirmed under her father's scrutiny. Her goose was cooked, and she knew it. No matter how good her excuse was, or how genuinely sorry she felt, there would be no way she was getting out of this easily.

"I said, explain yourself," her father repeated.

Kari hung her head. "I'm sorry, dad. I didn't mean for everything to get so out of hand. I'll pay for whatever we broke!" she offered.

"Not good enough."

"What if I ground myself for two weeks?"

"Not good enough."

Kari shrank back in horror as realization dawned on her. "No! Not that!"

"Yes," her father said, leering. "That."

By now everyone had the same creepy grin her father had on his face. Eyes glowing, they chanted in unison, "somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad."

Kari screamed and fell onto the floor. "Please!" she begged, "Not that! I'll do anything!"

Led by Susumu, the neighbours and the rest of Kari's family stalked towards the frightened party, still chanting.

"Somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad. Somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad. Somebody's gonna get a HURT!"

With that, the horde pulled out chainsaws. Susumu decapitated Yolei without a second thought, slicing through Hawkmon in the process. The frightened girl's screams were cut short in a wash of blood. Ken attempted to save himself by going to the balcony, but one of the neighbours threw her chainsaw. The weapon hummed through the air, neatly cutting the former-Emperor in two. Tai held a Davis up with one hand, then rammed the chainsaw into his stomach, watching his entrails leak out and spill over the floor. Veemon launched himself at Tai, knocking the older boy back, but another neighbour brought up his chainsaw and sawed off his legs. Veemon rolled on the ground, screaming until Yuuko Kamiya stabbed her saw into the blue dinosaur's heart, causing gore to fly about.

One such piece of skin hit Patamon's wing. Apparently, this marked him for death, since everyone turned as one to the little creature. TK leapt up. "Patamon, digivolve!"

"Patamon digivolve to…Angemon!"

Even with his newfound powers, Angemon was no match for the fury of many chainsaws. His holy staff knocked aside many blades, trying to buy time for his friends to escape. "Hurry!" he called.

TK and Cody scrambled to the balcony, followed by Upamon. Freedom was at hand, when yet another neighbour swung down. "Boo!" he said, and brandished a chainsaw. As Cody backed away, another one burst out from the floor beneath him, chainsaw catching the digidestined's foot. Unable to move, Cody could only scream in pain as the sadistic neighbour calmly sheared off one limb at a time before ending the boy's misery by lopping off his head.

By this time, TK had already lost his life to a chainsaw through his heart. Upamon tried to jump off the balcony, but was caught before he reached safety. The in-training digimon fell to the streets below in two pieces, each one making a sickening thump upon impact.

Wormon fended off the chainsaws while Gatomon tried to get a frozen Kari to move. "Come on, Kari!" Gatomon pleaded. "We have to go!" But Kari could only stare in shock at the massacre in front of her.

A cry of pain indicated that Angemon had fallen. Three of his wings had been sheared off, leaving bloody stumps. One hand had similarly been removed, and was bleeding profusely. The angel fell to his knees, no longer having the strength to stay on his feet. Susumu walked up from behind him and decapitated him with a single stroke. Angemon's head rolled, blood soaking the carpet… and came to a stop at Wormon's feet.

Gatomon placed herself beside Wormon. If they were to go down, they would go down fighting. Sapphire met sapphire as the two remaining digimon looked at each other, determination in their eyes. For this was their moment, their glory. They would die in a blaze of glory befitting a digidestined's digimon.

"Lightning Paw!"

"Sticky Net!"

**"CHAINSAW MASSACRE!"**

White and green hunks of flesh landed on the carpet, the only proof that Gatomon and Wormon had ever existed.

Kari made no protest as Yuuko and Tai grabbed her arms and hoisted her up. Her mind had already overloaded and she was in shock. However, she did remember one thing before she entered Death: her father, laughing manically, thrusting a chainsaw towards her exposed chest.

* * *

**The End.**

That's it! See my profile for my next story!


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